Crushed here i lie, like a bug. Like a bug of least importance and significance. Crushed by crush. How foolish it was on my behalf to do what i did last autumn—and naturally it did end up the same way. Downwards, falling into infinity. Help surely won’t come, it never does, this thing is something everyone needs to solve himself. Feel down man, seek nepenthe for your pain, or if you’re brave try living with it. I think i personally am a coward so i’d rather bury myself in work just as i did last time. And driving, because i realised that when i drive i don’t think. If i can keep it up long enough, the best medicine, time will bring surcease of sorrow. Until then, smile on, grief in. Try not to show what’s been hit by the mace of life with such fury that it shattered into millions of splinters, all sharp and painful. Doesn’t matter. Try to be happy on the happiness of someone dear, try to survive, and try to go on. Go on, there’s nothing to see here. Someone suffered near-fatal wounds, but life decided to keep him for now. I wonder how it feels to die inside. Maybe i already know?