It’s really great to be back home (for the simplicity of the phrase i’ll rather use this than “homeland” or “the place where i grew up”) after a year, it’s great to hang out with old friends and see my family, it’s great to visit the pubs where i spent my high-school birthdays and watch my sister decorate the christmas tree while i’m munching in tons of sweets, it’s great to mosh at a local gig and spend new year’s with friends getting wasted, but i was right when after my first return i realized that two weeks or so of this is just (if not more than) enough.
Personality-wise and mentally it’s as if i revert back to five years ago, i’m just incapable of making good decisions, i pile up regrets and “the ghosts of the past haunt me”. So yeah, i’d rather just stick to being the tourist with relatives and friends around.