It’s all going to get new meaning. I’m going back and still forward, moving on to a pure next stage, an empty sheet. Lately i’ve heard it way too much how i changed—for the worse or the better was left unclear, but the situation indicated the former. I couldn’t understand that at all, since i hadn’t felt anything like that. I was myself, maybe more than ever. But now on the bus home i started to wonder. Was this really me? I’m too alike my blog. I hope i can form myself just that difficult.
What made me think was the word “philosophy”. I no longer was someone trying to act wise. I was someone acting as a fool. What i meant by being too alike the blog? I changed myself just like last year the blog engine, without any proper planning and work. Just another sketch out of first impressions, and again it took about a year to realise that this won’t go how i planned.
I was way too self-confident. I succumbed to the seven sins: lust, pride, sloth, and probably even the other four (envy, gluttony, wrath, greed). I can say i failed my own ideals. I’m working on myself now. Starting over from sketch, with plans behind and goals ahead of me. I really will live a life without regrets now.
But i’m also undecided. It won’t be easy. I forgot so much… I thought i was always happy back in the spring… Now i’m so unsure, yet sure in what i want to do…