I would like to take this opportunity to express my deepest despise and utmost scorn towards the two beloved guardians of the law who thought I had nothing better to do at 2.30am riding my bike home from work exhausted mentally and physically, than to have a good 20 minutes of “chat” with them. From my heart I wish them a bull’s bulging boner between their buttocks and beyond.

Let me also voice my unwavering opinion that the police is a malignant cancer on society, an opinion that is only ever reinforced each occasion the bluecoats stop me – something that happens about twice a month. Honestly, if I could get laid for every time some policeman “wants to have a word” with me, I wouldn’t even mind the annoying questioning.

The only one time I was helped by policemen was when one winter, after a quite intensive pub visit some stairs on the street got the better of me and I decided to take a little rest – except it was a tad cold for that, so I’m glad some badges happened by and thought I was suspicious enough lying there unconsciously that they tried to ID check me. If only a helping intent was present, alas.

A former teacher of mine told me once in response to my complaining similar to above, that the policemen in Japan just want to chat with foreigners. I wish they’d do it in some bar with a beer in hands, instead of late at night harassing honest worker bees with their flashlights.