I’m feeling down. I know, i know… I’m not the one to cut myself or anything like that—i’m not stupid enough for that. Just it makes me feel down when i’m not as good at something as i want to be and i don’t have the time and space to improve. I simply can’t stuff any more activities in my life, i can’t study till morning four every day, because then i’d end up a coffee junkie in two days. Still i want to do so many things, so as many times before, i’m planning some kind of schedule with which i could manage as many as possible. The only problem is that i have a good habit not to keep myself to my own schedules. (Nor others’, as apparent from the number of days when i was not late for class, let’s say the limit of series a_n where n tends to infinity, signifying the number of days, and a_n, showing the days when i was not late, tends to zero.) I want to finally learn Moondance on piano, and want to learn the acoustic version of Bon Jovi’s It’s my life. Both i can do if i have time for it, thus i only need to find the time to practice. And meanwhile i’ll have to study for those so much awaited exams which decide which university i can go to (first choices being Osaka and Hokkaido, former for the sake of Kansai-ben, the people and the life, latter for the sake of nature, ainu people and weather), because i realised that for these i really have to study continuously, i can’t afford to do it in the last week on the verge of breakdown. And not only music and studies, i want to get back to coding and reading as well, i finally want to see nicely built php and javascript codes on my screen, running a nice layout… Not to mention the books i have and haven’t finished in almost a year… shame on me.

Start with wednesday. Morning wake up just in time to get to the grammar exam, then run to the other side of the campus for health check. There i naturally fainted after they took my blood, but this time i told them in advance about the problem so made me lie down beforehand. Lay down, took blood, next memory waking up there with a ringing in the ear and a “where the holy hell am i?” (yeah, even hell occurred before the blood sampling) thought in head. They were not sure how and what to, because i was out of line with going there earlier because of some reason detailed later in this post. At least i now know that then i was roughly 65 kilos (expected more), 179 cm (expected more) and that ten minutes and four-five examinations after the blood sampling (when i already felt alright), my blood pressure was still around 80/40 (at least i recall these numbers). Of course after i got free my first way was to the kombini and bought a Snickers and a Coke. Then ran off to Ikebukuro to begin my adventure…

I got dreadlocks. It took a lot of organizing, hell a lot of money and i sat eleven hours in one place. Was a relief to stand up, with my head covered in dreads. The shop people were really nice, we talked a lot, nice language practice. Hiro, a japanese friend helped a lot, without his help this couldn’t have been accomplished. He fixed a lot of stuff for me, lead me there and everything. He even got me the new album, 45°↗ of Sex Machineguns as birthday present (not to mention, limited edition). I was and am lost for words to express my gratitude. It was almost midnight when (roughly two hours the shop closed for everyone else) my hair was finished. I got the last train, bought dinner (lunch) in Sukiya (before that i only had breakfast, that Snickers and a few candies) then joined the remains of a cocktail party in the second dorm. Went to sleep around four, woke up at eight, then came the trip to Yamato, Yamanashi…